Monday, February 1, 2016

Altered Mind State- Trust the Journey

Hanging on to this - these past few days...
With some health challenges -
that perhaps accompany AGING....

Diagnosed with a vitreous detachment
 of the right eye- and handed a pamphlet 
for age-related macular degeneration.
No known cause and no treatment.
Just spidery, floaty things and blurry spots
with every blink or light change.
Recovery time- a few weeks to months.
Not life changing.
More bothersome. 
Just won't do much night driving.
Then a trip to the ER 
to deal with severe neck pain and
a diagnosis of 3 very different things.
The transport team told my husband
 that the only directive was-
Altered Mind State.
(probably from the pain medication)

I think my family would say that
 they have been living 
with that diagnosis for many years.

So home again, blurry-eyed, 
but back on track.
 Then I get a text 
that a friend died Sunday am.

We worked together in our church's 
Shared stories, life and encouragement.
We lost touch in divergent work paths.

Then she battled cancer.
She crossed my prayers often.

Her birthday was recently.
There was talk of hospice.
Yet, they still were searching for rays of hope.
I could only think of Bible verses
 to share with her.
Made her a paper bag journal
 with recycled greeting card verses to read-
 and reread.

A precious short visit - but time to pray
 with Carleen and her husband.
Now planning a funeral.

My health news- no stroke.
 Good news.
Adding that to my Ann Voskamp
Counting Gifts journal.
But, what when you get the hard news?

Altered Mind State.
How do we continue to move
 through our days in 
However many days we have left.
Connected to the worship Altar?
Kneeling before the cross.
Hearts living for this relationship 
with Jesus?

What makes a difference
 in the days we have here?
40, 50, 60, 70, 90
years on earth- 
unless we live a life with purpose and passion-

And all in all,
to never move from
 TRUSTING in the journey,
even if it is one we do not want.
TRUSTING that the days we are given
 are granted in wisdom and grace.
For His grand design-
and our acceptance of 
blurry vision,
challenging days,
protocol treatments,
and the end of our days.
That we might STILL 
give Him GLORY-
 in all of it.

With love and in memory of Carleen Campbell.


  1. Connie, so sorry to hear of your health issues, but lifting you up in prayer. Your life is such an inspiration to so many and God will use whatever comes your way to minister to you, your family and your friends. LOVE YOU

  2. Oh Connie! Always praying for you and John, but will pray more specifically for your health. I love the thought of Altared Mind State. We need that in our house. Thank you! (Hug!)

    1. thanks Heidi---- I think this diagnosis- has changed (altered) a few things in my thinking as well-- and sometimes that is a very good thing


Thanks for adding your thoughts and comments- they are greatly appreciated.